Sketches & Vignettes

Now i am a mad actress on an empty stage
the curtain has fallen a long time ago
the audience has left a long time ago
meanwhile i am still acting
regretting my favourite lines

" God, thank you, god
O, thank you, god
for giving everything,
except the one thing i desired most"

- Dr. Zurinah Hassan.

I chat on Facebook with Lat this morning and she asked me to guess the song she was listening to.
Lat, my long-time bff.
I used to know her like I would myself. Guessing a song she claimed to remind her of our good old days was a piece of cake.

The clue that she gave me was that we had translated the song into a malay poem(sort of). There were a number of songs getting ruined by us back then (Cheq was also one of the accomplice). So though I guess wrong the 1st time, i got it right the 2nd round. It was Haemorrhage by The Fuel. And it was one of our favourite songs.

Back then, our translations were mostly direct and maybe bad, but at that point in time they sounded refreshing. Coz they were raw and unearthly. Sort of mean and tahpape. But those were the qualities that made the translation exclusively ours. Mmg tah pape.
Hahaha.

Still, when lat mentioned the song, I found it a bit hard to breath. A heavy feeling was in my chest. Huhu. Remembering how translating a song into a rubbish piece can be so fun was… well, painful. Coz u did it with your good friends who are no longer with u physically.

Then other things that we used to do together came to mind by the mention of the song: berebut bas together2, mkn kat café, tgk citer hantu kat bilik aku smbil impit-impit (coz lampu tutup, langsir tutup, pintu tutup, kdg kepala tutup jgk dgn bantal ), tgk AADC n citer kissing2, try baju2 selepas blk shopping, msk, joget,lepak, gadoh, tido, blaja (plg sikit). Heheh.

Everything is not repeatable. Some can be repeated but it won’t feel the same. Just like listening to the song now feels like a different thing altogether. It gives me a weird kind of regret.

Here is a translated version of Haemorrhage. Specially dedicated to both Lat n Cheq. And to everybody else who knows what it feels like to lose the people that u still have.

Lagu: Pendarahan.
By Mnyk Petrol.

Memori masih di situ
Seperti air yang kedalamannya menzahirkan kematian.
Apakah yg kau cari?
Adakah ia sesuatu yg telah kau tinggalkan?
Tidakkah kau ingat, semua yg ku lafazkan bila kulafazkan;

Jgn pergi
Dan tinggalkn aku kepada diri,
Jgn pergi,
Dan tinggal kan cinta berdarah di tangan,
Sekali lagi.
Tinggalkan cinta berdarah di telapak tangan,
Didalam gengaman,
kesakitan.

Ku terjangkit, peganglah daku (Apakah translation ini?)
Adakah aku tempat yg kau tinggalkn utk pergi
Kau merasakan hidup seperti tayangan hitam putih
Pelakon-pelakon kaku memalsukan ayat
Dan berulang-ulang, kau meraung;

Jgn pergi
Dan tinggalkn aku kepada diri,
Jgn pergi,
Dan tinggal kan cinta berdarah di tangan. Sekali lagi.
Tinggalkan cinta berdarah di telapak tangan.
Didalam gengaman, kesakitan.

Dan ku tonton pemergianmu
Kau terlupa, tetapi tidak aku
Kau sebenarnya tidak pernah mencuba.

(Part ni gorengan guitar berhantu)

Sekian.

Apakah poyos disitu. Title itu.
kah kah.

Aite, obviously the title is a metaphor for my coming back into the blogging arena.
But it's just it.
Coz i know that imagining urself as a mythical creature is just plain poyo. Self-proclaimed. And scary.

The thing is, I used to blog y'know. Like, a lot. Then everything comes to a halt due to so many reasons.
I stopped.

Those unblogging times were terribly uninspiring.
Many things went unnoticed.
Life lacked excitement. and i suffered mentally.

But somehow, it made me realize that i wanted to write again. To find back a focus to my thought, even on the silliest of things.

Hence, this new blog. Reconstructed to commemorate the new inspiration that i have about writing, about blogging and ..er, about pheonixes. heheh.

Errr...aren't pheonixes said to be immortal?
Then why lay in the dusty ashes still? Time to rise y'all.

Hoh!! To pheonixes and all the lazy bloggers of the world;

Come out, come out, wherever u are.